On a picture above we see mom, who is pseudo-listening. What a pseudolistening, what a communication! Oh I am great, my grandma just died this morning!Īlmost nobody heard the actual message. He was standing at the entrance shaking hands and cheering the guests, and the typical dialogue was like this:Ī. The example of this type may be a motto on my son’s t-shirt, “I am only pretending to listen”.Ī long time ago I read a story about a psychologist, who decided to test guests at a party. There are several types of ineffective listening.ġ. Meaningful communication is impossible as his short term memory is less than 30 seconds. The following video demonstrates a patient like that. She asked a question, and at the time I finished answering she already forgot what she was asking, and asked the same question again. Effective communication was practically impossible. I worked with a patient who suffered with Alzheimer disease and had an isolated loss of her short-term memory. This is a very important transactional part of a communication. Responding is giving a meaningful feedback message, such as "I hear you". When s doctor refer to his patient as having "status post-Bachus", his colleague would understand, while a random person most probably not. It is based on language (vocabulary, clarity) and on the congruency between a sender and recipient. I have it as a background noise which help me to focus on my own thought.
When I drive my car I have my radio on however I don't actually listen it. It tunes up our attention so we can ignore meaningless information and noise. Hearing impairment due to a disease or trauma, noise, low volume, fatigue - all these factors may interfere with hearing.Īttending. This refers to our listening organ and physiology. This couldn't be possible if he wasn't carefully listening. Being very mindful listener, let him catch this contradiction and conclude that she was lying about her life. When he notices her hands (and concludes that Scarlett was working hard) it conflicts with her story. Rhett gives careful attention to her words, analyzes them and evaluate Scarlett's appearance. In this video by weiminc38 we can enjoy watching the exemplar masterpiece. Rhett Butler ( Gone with the Wind) is a very mindful listener, because Scarlett in important for him. If someone has court case and a judge is announcing his orders, most probably this person will be a very mindful listener, paying all attention possible to the judge. Mindful listening is turned on when spoken message(s) is important or significant for the listener. Example: listening to the friend who tells about their vacation and shares in smallest details what food they had day by day, may result in other person's mindless listening. We respond to messages in a stereotypical way, unless we hear something really important. Mindless listening may sound superficial, and it is superficial to the certain degree, but this actually saves us energy, so we can focus better on other aspects of communication. Mindless listening refers to routine listening, when a person doesn't focuses 100% on what is said he only keeps the general track of it. Listening is a recognition of this sound as a speech and understanding it. There is a significant difference between hearing and listening. Listening is a process of responding to speech by perceiving it as a meaningful message(s). In order to be able to evaluate the communication we need to analyze not only the speaker or a person who sends a message, but also a recipient, because communication is two-directional. Without knowing what a particular component might be the observer will miss it without taking all the parts as a whole, s/he won’t get all the information about the communication act, because the whole it always bigger than simple sum of its parts.
It is important to understand that all communications fuse together as one process still, an ability to identify the different components of this process one by one is important as much as an ability to perceive all the components as a whole. "Listening is as important as as speaking in terms of making relationship work" (Adler & Proctor 236).
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